Added Links

Today I added some links on the side bar to few blogs I have been reading for some time now; Jake Commando, and Jack Army. They've been good sources of information so far, and if anyone is interested in Special Forces or the training Special Forces Operators go through, then they should definately check these out.
I've been thinking alot lately about what will happen if I dont successfully complete the SF taining. I hate to contemplate failure, because I think you can end up "talking yourself" into failing. Once you start to justify poor performance or get comfortable with the idea of failing, you are that much closer to it. I would prefer to keep a positive attitude, but I definately have my moments of doom and gloom. In order to get around this, I've realized that I should focus in becoming the best soldier I can be, not just an SF Soldier. I think I should shift my goal from just making it through the training, to being the best I can. I suppose this sounds a little redundant, but I think that by trying to be a great soldier, the SF training will start to take care of itself. I'm sure that one thing leads to the other, and hopefully it will relieve some of the pressure I'm feeling. It's a new way of doing business for me, as in the past I've been a status quo kind of guy. Thats something I'm going to have to work hard to change.
I have been able to speak to a couple of active duty SF guys already, and they've been really great as far offering support and encouragement. Everyone is pretty tight-lipped about SFAS though. I asked one of the guys what Selection is like, and he said simply, "It sucks.". Well, I expected that. I really should thank my recruiter though, for putting me in touch with the SF soldier I've been talking to. He really went to extra mile to find someone to answer the questions I have that he doesn't know the answer to.
Other than that, I'm just plauged by a few stupid questions, like "do you wear the ACU's in selection now?", and "what kind of boots should I buy to march in?". I'm under the impression that I'll be getting issued ACU's at OSUT, and the SFAS packing list I found online says to bring BDU's. thats fine, if they want me in BDU's, I'll buy them, but where am I going to put all my other gear? I'm not sure if I'll have an actual barracks room at that point. Silly questions I know, but they keep me up at night.

Last Day Of Classes

Well, College is officially over for me. Today was my last day of classes, so finals are next week and graduation as well. I'm going to miss going to school, I've really enjoyed it. I always get a little nostalgic at times like these. Oh well, every ending is also a new beginning I suppose.
I am starting to get excited rather than nervous about my upcoming military service. I"m still not sure I like the idea about jumping out of an airplane (there's no such thing as a perfectly good airplane IMHO), but I am getting excited about beggining the next phase of my life. Pretty much as soon as I graduate from OSUT, I'll be turning 30, then jump school. I suppose that is a pretty novel way to spend your birthday! Two milestones in as many months, who wouldnt be excited about that?
I was looking online for a new camelback to get for myself as a little graduation present. I have it narrowed down to 3 of them, the BFM, the Motherload, and the Talon-J. I like the BFM and Motherload because they come in the new ACU pattern, which matches the Army's new uniform. They are also the two largest packs camelback makes. Then I discovered the Talon-J, the J stands for "jumpable". I understand that to mean specifically designed with Airborne operations in mind. That's pretty cool considering I'll be attending airborne school, right? But then I asked myself, what exactly make's a pack "jumpable"? The Talon-J is priced higher than the non -J Talon model, but has "a built-in, single point release, and easily stowable leg straps." Hmmm. If anyone out there ever reads this, and can give me a little advice here, I'd appreciate it. I guess this blog is sort of turning out to be back-pack related, which I suppose is in line with my future occupation. Next thing I should probably discuss is footwear!

A little too much Ambition

Ok, so maybe 50 lbs. was a little too much weight to start out with, especially after my little lecture about taking it easy. I am really hurting today, and I didnt even do that much with the heavy ruck yesterday. Well, its not like I didn't know this was going to be tough.
On a side note, I am really scared of Jump school. I am actually as close to being terrified as I've ever come, and its still a few months away. I'm sure I'm building it up in my head to be much worse than it really is...its been my experience that I'm far better at scaring myself than anyone else is. Jump School will be a big victory for me, as it is for a lot of people I imagine. Overcoming our fears is never an easy thing. I never really knew how many things scared me untill I joined the military, I guess we may not know what really scares us untill we're faced with it. I always knew I was afraid of needles, but I'm mostly over that now...well, partly anyway. More on being afraid later.

50 pounds of Sand

I stopped by Lowe's Hardware today to grab some sand to throw in the Ruck sack my recruiter loaned me, I ended up getting a 50 pound bag. I soon came to the conclusion that it gets very heavy, very quickly. I think that the load distribution of the ruck is horrible. I have a sweet expedition pack from EMS (Eastern Mountain Sports) and fully loaded (with tent, sleeping bag, etc.) it comes in at about 47 lbs, but it is soooo much more comfortable! I was really surprised at how bad the ruck hurt after even a few minutes. Now I know why there are so many "enhancements" you can buy for it. The waist strap is really just to keep the bottom of the ruck close to your body, whereas on my EMS pack, the waist strap supports the majority of the load, which leads to better balance, and less fatigue in your shoulders. I guess I better get used to it though...that's what I'll be carrying all through selection. I might also be so uncomfortable because the bag of sand just hangs out in the bottom of the ruck, so its not really what a full load at that weight would feel like (it would be distributed over a wider area within the pack). Anyway...it's a real pain (literally) to carry around. I'm going to take a few days of just lugging it around campus before I do any real mileage, at least get used to picking it up and putting it on. Because I've been such a couch potato for so long, I have to have a slow start with all of this to avoid injury. Getting hurt now would take time away from getting ready...and I'm going to devote all my time from graduation untill I ship to getting ready. I'll hopefully be in decent shape by then, or at least on my way to decent shape. I know that I'll be getting a good workout in OSUT, Airborne, and SOPC1....but anything I do now will them all suck that much less when I finally get there.

Why does the Army hate prior service personnel?

Ok, so when I was at MEPS last Thursday, going over my options with the career counselor, it turned out that because I was in the Navy, and therefore prior service, I'm not eligible for any of the current enlistment incentives, at least not for the 18x program. That kinda bummed me out, but what are you going to do? I joined anyway, because in the end, I'm not doing it for the money. Why am I doing it, I dont really know, but it's not for the money (HA). Actually I have a pretty clear idea of why I want to join the Army, and why I want to be a Special Forces Soldier. The simple truth of it is that I believe in the mission. I really Like the SF motto, "De Opresso Liber", Liberate the Oppressed. It's what I believe we should be doing, or at least what I should be doing with my life. I suppose it's finally time for me to stop saying "somebody should do something about that"....and actually be the one to do it. I've defended the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan since they began, and I think now is the time to put my money where my mouth is. I've gotten a little off track here, but that's ok...this is more of a "stream of conciousness" type blog, as oposed to something with a little more format. Or any format at all, for that matter. Anyway...back to the topic of being prior service...one would think that the Army would welcome former servicemen for other branches with open arms and hefty cash bonuses, and well, maybe they do, if you pick a different job than the one I picked. In reality I didn't even look at any other jobs, I already knew what I wanted....for better or for worse (probably worse :/ ). In the end, things will all work out for the best, I'm sure. I am, however, still really nervous.

I just Enlisted...again

Well, on Thursday, May 4th, I officialy signed my contract with the U.S. Army! I enlisted under the 18x program, which means, assuming that I meet all the requirements, I'll be attending Special Forces Assesment and Selection. I have to make it through Infantry OSUT, Airborne school and SOPC1 first, but hopefully all will go well and I'll make it through everything. Right now the thing that scares me the most is my physical condition...I've been kind of a couch potato for that last few years while I finished school, and right now I couldnt even pass the PT test to go to SFAS, but I'm not leaving for Basic (OSUT) untill September, so if I work hard, I should have some time to at least be on way to good physical conditioning. Special Forces probably wasnt the best choice for someone in my position (condition), but hey, Im almost 30 and its kinda now or never.
As far as my background goes, I joined the Navy when I was 20, and spent 6 years on Active Duty as a Cryptologic Technician (Interpreter)....or CTI in Navy speak. I decided to leave the Navy for a few different reasons, but mainly it was to finish my degree, which I will have done in 2 weeks. So naturally I thought about joining the military again. I left the Navy at 26 years old, and have been in school for almost 3 years (thank you MGIB), so now I'm almost 30 and wondering what the heck I've signed on for. A 5 year contract with the Army, at best in one of the most challenging jobs there is, at worst in one of the most demanding jobs there is....wow.
At least I know what basic training will be like, and let me tell you how much I am NOT looking forward to another Gamma Globulin shot and getting pin cushioned in general...oh well, so be it. Anyway...this blog is more for me to keep track of my thoughts and feeling as I get ready to enter (endure) one of the most challenging things I've ever done with my life...I guess its going to be like a kind of therapy...a place to voice my fears, uncertainties, and doubts. More to come in the near future!